it's your life

i've started reading don't waste your life by john piper. between that and coming across THIS blog, i'm feeling antsy and inspired and like a giant loser. what am i doing? working and watching a lot of HGTV. i know we're not all called to these crazy inspiring amazing lives. not all of us will adopt a million babies or start an organization to feed thousands or preach the gospel all over the nation. and i know that is okay. but i feel like i'm not doing much with the life i've been currently called to. it's like the passage in luke: whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. well what am i doing with my very little? am i loving my neighbors? am i seeing Jesus in the least of these? am i clothing and feeding the poor, orphans and widows?

i'm getting the itch for more. to do more.

still

thank you so much for the prayers, thoughts, and love. prayers have been answered. S's platelets started coming up today so he's most likely coming home tomorrow. though we don't know exactly what caused this, the doctors have ruled out a number of really bad things. they're assuming it was some kind of virus in S's body that caused the attack on his platelets. either way, my baby is coming home and we're moving to indy!!!!!

 (can you believe my toenails are painted? it's a miracle.)

the past few days S and i sat together, read, watched tv, and talked or not talked. and since he was feeling pretty much normal, we enjoyed our time together. it was nice not talking plans and kids. but just sitting and being.

during the past three days while S and i were sitting around doing nothing, our parents and my sister were working their tails off to finish up the packing and cleaning and watching the boys so i could be with S. due to all their hard work, we're planning on leaving friday for indy. just one day behind schedule.

again, thank you for the prayers and concern. we felt it all.

keep it together

so it started at my mom's saturday afternoon when my mom's husband noticed a large bruise on S's leg. the next day we found two more on his stomach and back. later that night, more bruises all over his arms with popped blood vessels all over his body. at the advice of our smarty pants doctor friend, S went to the emergency room late last night. i met him there around 3 this morning. come to find out he has no platelets. not one to be found. he was admitted to the hospital around 6 am.

they are doing a number of tests to rule out a number of things. they started him on a steroid treatment and we're praying to God that does the trick to get his platelets back up. we will know more tomorrow as the test results start coming back. we do know that even with best case scenario, S will be there for a couple of days.

S is doing well, besides for being exhausted and having been poked all day. he's badly bruised. and tired. C went home with grandma and auntie cj. J is spending the night with grammy and pawpaw. and though i miss all three boys like crazy, i'm glad for the calm after this crazy day. and after 2 hours of sleep the past 36 hours, i'm ready for some rest.

thursday was supposed to be moving day. that is no longer the plan. there is no plan.

praise God for health insurance. praise God that i'm not currently working. praise God for family and friends who loved us hard today. praise God that S feels as well as he does.

goodbye girl

today i got flowers from one of my clients. his name is nick. he's young, kind of a punk, and the worst driver of a power chair that i have ever seen. what makes these flowers so incredible is that nick lives in a residential facility. so after nick went home from work yesterday, he must have told one of his staff i was leaving and regardless of who suggested it, he went to the garden and picked out some flowers for me (not by himself of course). he gave me the biggest gap-toothed smile today when giving me the flowers in a cute little vase and my heart nearly burst.

i think i've been so busy looking forward, planning, taking care of details, worrying about life on the other side of the move, that i haven't spent any time actually thinking about leaving and how sad that will be. my mom is here. two of my very best friends. families in homewood we have grown to love and who have endlessly loved on our babies. people who have played an incredible role in this time in our lives, just starting life as a family. clients who have made me laugh. our little crappy old apartment, but our first home together. there's a lot to miss.


tomorrow is my last day at elim. let the goodbyes begin...

another white dash

we're moving. and i'm not really sure how to begin talking about it. mainly because all i can see right now is the huge to-do-list i have for the next week and a half.

we're THRILLED. we love indianapolis (oh yeah, we're moving to indy). it's adorable and small and accessible and affordable. you can park on the street for quarters (free on sundays!). you don't have to wait in line at a restaurant for more than 15 minutes. and the houses! we can actually afford to buy a house for cheaper than we rent here. we'll also be closer to steve's family, which will be nice. and it's less than three hours from chicago, so still able to visit my family a lot.

we actually haven't been talking about moving for that long. maybe since april. truthfully, i always knew we'd up in indy at some point, but i thought we'd make a couple stops before settling down there. i guess we kind of feel like chicago was a necessary step for us. we were here to get married, adopt j, pay off some debt, start our life together, have c. but now it's time to dig some roots. build a home for our little family. invest in a city and community. and we've chosen to do that in indy.

we leave in less than two weeks. like i said, there's a lot to do. but there's something awesome about being a young family taking on a big adventure.

little wonders

i have things to blog about, big things, but not until sharing j's fourth birthday. i wish i was the kind of mom who could plan some elaborate party, invite all the neighbors, buy the perfect present, and make it magical for him. but let's be real - i work full time and we have a limited budget. so we did the best we could to make it the best day ever.

for j that meant opening presents at 7 am (he got a tshirt and a book wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper), then going to dunkin donuts in our pjs to pick out the perfect donut.

 a captain america donut - what are the chances??

then we hurried out the door to go to grandma's. j knew we were going to grandma's, but he didn't know why. we dropped off c with my sister and headed to see Cars 2 (thanks to state farm insurance). j was thrilled. we got popcorn (which i proceeded to dump all over the theater floor) and j picked out some candy. j's favorite thing about the movie? the racing. duh.

then we were off to j's favorite restaurant in the whole wide world - mcdonald's. my sister, nephew, and c all met us there to eat and play.

we went to grandma's for the rest of the afternoon. napped. sang happy birthday. played outside. and finished off the night with pizza with our dearest friends. a pretty good day to turn four.

 

his new captain america tshirt.

 

jack, you make the world a better place and me a better person. love you a billion.

i'll stand by you

what happened four years ago tonight is almost as important as what happened four years ago tomorrow. almost.

the night before i was induced into labor with j, we had a party. a birth party. my sister was there, my mom, my best friend, and a lot of the people who loved me throughout my pregnancy (before and after my pregnancy, as well.) we ate, they drank, and cheersed to a baby we loved, but didn't know. my friends loved me well. and they loved j, too. you know how they say you can learn to love something by watching someone else love it? that's what my friends did for me and j during our first year of life together. i loved him better because i saw them love him. not to say i didn't love j, because i did. i thought he was perfect. but they helped me love him better. differently than i would have if they hadn't been in our lives.

haha.

cheers, baby j!

 

 this is what we envisioned j to look like in the womb.

my mom and sister. they were hungover as they drove me to the hospital the next morning.

 i slept with my sister and bff that night. i debated between jack and jackson. i went with jackson, which i regretted, but later got to a chance to change. a story for another time...

i love knowing there were people celebrating j before he even arrived.  people who couldn't wait to meet him. it makes being a scared, pregnant, 22 year old with no job or husband a little easier.