restless ones

i hate being alone. alone in my house, alone in bed. i hate it. yesterday and today the boys have been gone. all three of them. sure, it's a nice break, i get to do what i want and watch what i want and eat what i want. but i actually hate it. i miss them. 

in an effort to not feel so alone, i usually fill up my time. i'll go to my mom's, spend time with friends, etc. so yesterday after work i went shopping. until about 7:30 when i came home with qdoba. i pretty much ate, straightened up, got ready for the next day and went to bed. i'd been so quick to fill up my time that i wasn't actually able to enjoy it.

so today i vowed to enjoy. i went for a run. a pathetic run at that, but i did it. and now i'm enjoying the quiet. and by quiet, i mean mumford & sons pandora blaring while i organize j's room and throw out a bunch of toys. (no seriously, i'm getting rid of a bunch of stuff. something i could never do with him home.) i'm going to eat frozen pizza and watch grey's anatomy. all night long. i'm going to take advantage and enjoy. with equal parts productive and still. maybe i'll end up actually not being so afraid of time alone.